Gruaja fut shejtanin me shishe (A woman puts the demon in the bottle)

How does she do it?

     The Albanian woman. How does she do it? How is she so strong? How does she work all day (literally all day) and then come home to cook dinner, do laundry, clean up after dinner, entertain her children, entertain her husband, stay on her feet, and the list goes on.

I am a peace corps volunteer serving in Albania going through pre-service training. During this period my fellow volunteers and I stay with a host family. I am living with my host mama, baba, motër, dhe vëlla (Albanian for mother, father, sister, and brother). I have another sister who is around my age at university in the capital. She also works hard in the household from what I’ve observed (she was here for the weekend when I arrived) and it almost feels like I’m taking her place.

A little about my family:

-Both my host father and host mother work every day of the week, maybe excluding Sundays (not sure yet), making clothing. They work from 10am until around 7 in the evening.

-Once again, my sister is at uni studying to be a nurse.

-Both of my other siblings are in high school.

I just started seeing a lot of my family this week because when I got here this past weekend they were away for a wedding most of my second day. They were working the day that I arrived. Of course mama came home and cooked dinner but I think it was all so overwhelming at first I took the time to observe. I knew that I loved the family dynamic. It reminded me of my own family dynamic. My brother and I were latch key kids. Our parents were working when school got out so we had our house key and made it home to an empty house. So I’m quite used to the dynamic and the independence that it comes with. That’s not to say that our parents weren’t there, they were just doing everything in their power to provide and that meant sacrifice. For the first time since I’ve moved in with my host family, I am seeing that it is the same situation for my host parents. They are trying to provide the best way they know how and they are doing a heck of a job.

Tonight I got to help my host mom made a traditional Albanian dish. My back is hurting all over again just thinking about it. I spent maybe an hour and a half on my feet rolling dough and learning the right way to do it in the process. I’m definitely not complaining though. I saw it as a blessing from God that I got the opportunity to do something I love in a new place. I probably won’t always be fortunate enough to receive such a gift. Whilst helping my host mom though I just started thinking about writing a blog that was basically an ode to Albanian moms, at least to my Albanian mom. I’m not trying to generalize, I just know that this is something a lot of Albanian woman do on the day to day. I am going through cultural training on the topic led by Albanian women/men so I think I am at least partly accurate. All I know is that I can expect my host mom to come home change into more comfortable clothes and head straight for the kitchen. Mostly she is watched but sometimes I see my siblings do their part (i.e. make coffee for baba, help cook, set the table, etc.). Today, I wanted to do my part and everyday I want to do my part.

“You are not alone mama,” I wanted my actions to say. I may not speak great Albanian (yet), but oh what a set of hands can do :). It is 10:08pm and we are just about to eat dinner. That’s just customary in Albanian culture. I’m less concerned about the time and more concerned about watching mama making it all happen in admiration. Thanks mama. Faleminderit mama! You rock! Time to eat this yummy meal. Oh, and I hope this was a small glimspe into Albanian culture. For the next two years, I hope these glimpses add up. Signing off. ✌